Roid Rage

Wow! before before I go into the nasty details of what Becca has been going through the past couple of days, I should tell you why it occured...(visible swirling indicating a flashback)...after her first couple of doses of heavy Ara-C, she was very ill with Ara-C Syndrome but began her first chemo treatments with some underlying respiratory issues and likely a bit of a bug in general. That combination of illness and huge doses of chemo is what put us into the ICU...(swirls again back to the present)... in an effort to prevent Ara-C Syndrome again, the docs put her on pretty large doses of dexamethasone a.k.a "dex." It is widely known by cancer families that dex is demon spawn that also has some clinical benefits which are quickly forgotten in the maelstrom of mood altering side effects that follow its use in high doses.

Trisha spent Friday and Saturday with her and was at her wits end with the minuscule attention span and arguing and general displeasure with everything around her. I was at home with Lily and felt helpless, wanting to rush in and save the day. Sunday, I went to relieve Trisha and began my stay with our normally sweet child. Trisha left a bit before noon. Following mommy leaving, I expected some pretty rough emotional patches, but nothing prepared me for the rage and psychotic breakdown of our baby. She lost all control and was screaming, clawing, biting, hitting, threatening murder, babbling, unhooking her lines, and trying to climb out of bed to chase me and nursing staff with promises of violence. She was given a dose of Ativan that just made her feel more out of her mind. An hour later she was given a larger dose of Ativan but still fought it as best she could.

Over the weekend they had begun to give a modest dose of Zyprexa (anti-psychotic). I was able to manipulate her into to drinking a cup of water laced with an additional dose of Zyprexa, but that was not going to cut it quickly enough, and so she was given a touch of Fentanyl. She finally fell asleep, ending a seamless 3 hour rage. I am pretty certain that something like this would have happened even if Trisha had not left; Becca would have discovered a different reason to get agitated. Over night she was as sweet as butterd honey and only needed a small dose of Ativan to help with some gut pain and slight agitation. They have cut off her dex and are hopeful that she will not become symptomatic. The dex should be out of her system tonight or tomorrow morning and she should return to her normal happy sassy self. EK


Renee and Jon said...

Heartbreaking to see her (and you/Trisha) going through this! Praying for a peaceful day and week. Love having Lily too!

Momto3awesomekids said...

I cannot imagine seeing your sweet child transform like that. It's beyond comprehension and so heartbreaking to know that you all are dealing with so much on top of the general ugliness of the C word. Praying for you all. Thank you so much for the updates.

HeatherH Mobile said...

I don't know how you all manage through so many trials. I pray for Becca all the time, that, once this epoch of her life is done, she will have all the fun and ease and care-free enjoyment that you've all had to sacrifice while she's struggled to survive. I always tell God that I fervently object that he would allow a child to suffer through all these things. But I pray anyway - my objections noted and underlined. We just want you all to be blessed and to resume the life you deserve!!