2.28.2009

Struggling a bit...

Lily and I are only allowed to tap dance on the tiles by the fireplace, so here we are!

Need I say more?!

Well, I have to say that this is the worst I have felt in a long time! Usually, when someone asks me how I'm feeling, I say, "Good." Even when I haven't felt at the top of my game, I've still replied that way; starting Friday, I began responding, "Bad." This phase of chemo is really throwing me for a loop.
I'm having stomach issues, cannot get comfortable, am really irritable, don't know what I want, refuse my medicines, don't feel like eating, and I'm losing too much weight. I think my moaning is upsetting Mommy, because she keeps looking at me pitifully and says, "I'm so sorry, sweet pea." I really don't know why she's apologizing.

Even though I'm on steroids again, I'm below the weight at which I entered the hospital in mid-October. My ANC was down around 600 on Thursday, so I'm sure it's down even more after the chemo I got on Friday (Vincristine and Doxorubicin). I've done fine with the Vincristine (in general) over the last five months, so it must be the Doxorubicin that's messing with me. It does have the nicknames of "red devil" and "red death," after all... I guess Mommy and I need to just plan on cuddling on the couch all day Saturday when I get chemo on Friday, because that's what I want/need.

I saw Dr. Hummel on Friday in the clinic, and he explained to Daddy that this delayed intensification phase is all about knocking me down and building me up again, just so they can knock me down again. Right now, they're obviously knocking me down, then I'm going to get a break from chemo for the next two weeks. I'll still be on steroids next week, though. This will hopefully bring my counts back up, since they are going to admit me to the hospital on Friday, the 13th (of March), so that they can really hit me hard with a chemo cocktail again.

They'll be giving me AraC (Cytarabine), which I haven't had since the first week I was in the hospital back in October, and Thioguanine, a new (to me) type of oral chemo. I'll have four days of AraC with Thioguanine, three days of just Thioguanine, four days of both again, and then three days of Thioguanine. Starting on the 27th, it looks like I won't be getting chemo for about two weeks. If my counts are high enough, I'll start Interim Maintenance Round #2 on April 10.

Thank you to all of you who are continuing to think of me and pray for my strength through this rough phase of treatment. Keep the positive energy and prayers coming!

They say that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb, and I sure hope that's true...

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