Day 18

Okay... I'm tired of all of this! I want grilled cheese! I've had enough, and I'm going to let everyone know. I want grilled cheese! I will grunt and moan at everyone I see, and it's going to be hard to make me smile today. I want grilled cheese! I'm sick of being in this tiny room... I want the door open. I want grilled cheese! I want to go for a walk. I want grilled cheese! I want all of the hospital people to stop listening to my heart and belly, stop "hugging" my arm, and stop giving me medicine.

My ANC was down to 40 today, and I know that it's going the wrong way. My body's really trying to create healthy cells, but they keep giving me chemo. How do they expect my counts to go up when they are killing off everything?

All I wanted to do today was eat and take walks or rides (translation: Mommy or Daddy carried me or pushed me in my fancy little car). I took my eating very seriously, and when I wasn't eating, I was thinking about eating. My clothes are shrinking like crazy (of course, everyone is telling me that I'm getting heavy), and my face is as round as a ball. Mommy is worried that I'm going to burst (that's what I keep hearing her say, anyway). I also keep seeing lots of hair on my pillowcase when I sit up, and some of my hair is getting stuck on my clothes and my PICC line dressing. I'm wearing my bows as long as I can, though...

Let's see... who visited today? I saw Nana for a long time, my mommy's Aunt Mary and Uncle Bill, and 'Nise. I wasn't the best hostess (grunting and scowling, and all), but can you blame me?

1 comment:

graciesmom1228 said...

Sorry to hear about those counts, but I will pray for them to go back up, and to continue to climb from there. You are one brave and strong little girl. There are lots of adults who couldn't do as well you are with your illness. I know I wouldn't! I will continue to pray that you are able to be home very soon, and I hope that your nanny is a wonderful person. You and your family deserve it! Best of luck, loads of hugs, and many prayers, Julie Bryant